Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Well...haven't written this in a while.

A lot has changed. Not everything but a lot.

I still work at Costas
I'm still going out with my boyfriend and we still argue a lot, and I still worry that he will be a layabout all his life and that in a year or so I will have to end it because he STILL won't have a job or have tried to get one and that aint marriage material! But hopefully not, coz I do love him.

My sister is still crazy, she's been in a shitty mental health hospital for a year who have allowed her to cut off a lot of contact from us, isn't coming home for christmas, is being discharged in a month and they have only unrealistic suggestions for where she is going to go.

So... that hurts. The rejection, the grieving the family that now seems gone for good. We're still a family, but holidays on the boat on the norfolk broad, christmas mornings, birthday dinners, regular dinners...all seem impossible now. All the things that seemed to hold me to the earth... and now I have to put in a lot more effort just holding myself to it. I still have my parents, who are fantastic.

Funnily enough I do live with Em now! Nathan doesn't mind it at all, he doesn't really hate my friends, I was being dramatic I think. They get on all right really. SOmetimes when the three of us hang out it feels a little like when me him and Sarah used to hang out, and it's nice. Not really the same tho.
I live in my parents second house now, which is great. Freedom without the responsibilities. I don't, and couldn't possibly, pay rent or bills. I pay phone bill, which is hard enough to scrape the cash for ha....
I get lonely though. Less so the last month or so actually. I think I'm actually finally getting used to living away from home.

My course seems to be going well. I'm really enjoying my second placement! My mentor is brilliant, and a lot more laid back than the last one I had (which suits me better). I have a three thousand word essay to do by the 10th of January, which I'm sure I'll get done. I also need to plan a unit of science and some other things... but I've given myself a few days off this week, which has been nice.

I've wasted away my time playing facebook games :) which has been awesome! I love wasting a bit of time, it's good for the soul.

Christmas will still be cool i think :). I've got my parents and my brother (who's doing really well now! Seems really happy :)! He got himself into money trouble but my parent's are managing his finances for him to get him out of it (which will take years apparently...) and it seems to be working really well.). We're going up to see Sarah on christmas day, which will probably be really depressing, but isn't the whole day so hopefully won't ruin it!

Also I'm still smoking, more so now. Becoming a bit of a problem actually ha... I'm on four a day. I guess next time I write it'll be 15!


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